Let`s talk Mental Health and depression due to hair loss

[bullitnut]

Hi guys, speaking from experience I was extremely depressed when I started to loose my hair at such a young age, this was made even worse when I rushed into a transplant with the local butcher who made my situation a 1000 times worse.
My depression became so bad I would go out in the early hours of the morning to the local park on foot and sit and cry for hours so my family didnt see....I tried to take my life on 3 separate occasions wich fortunately didn't work.

I did seek help through a psychologist and was in a much better place when I got repaired by Shapiro Medical.

To those who think a transplant is a good idea and will fix all their problems then I would like to express caution because if your not in the right mind set or suffering with mental health prior to having a HT then your probably not going to by happy or satisfied with your results....its crucial you get the mental health side under control before you have a HT so you have realistic expectations and can enjoy your new hair......must be so hard for a doctor as well who gives a patient a great result but due to the patients health it doesnt make them happy.

All I'm saying guys is take care of your mental health it's important... then get a HT.

Has anyone else got any stories of their mental health issues and how their hair loss has affected them and their lives.

 

[Kevboy]

I was considering a hair transplant because my hair loss made me unhappy and depressed. I do not think I had mental health issues unless depression is in that category. I still consider myself quite young and when out with the lads I felt vulnerable and insecure. They are all sporting trendy hair cuts and I had my head shaved because I looked bald. It come to a point I didn't want to so socialise that much. Sometimes someone would say hey your going bald which annoyed the hell out of me. I had to restrain myself from smacking them.
I was desperate to sort my hair and thought I would just get a hair transplant. Thankfully I joined this forum and asked questions about getting a hair transplant. The help I got from everyone was overwhelming. Fast forward to now, I am in a much better place.
I agree that it's not wise to jump into a hair transplant regardless of how you are feeling. This forum saved me, positive support from like minded and caring individuals.

@bullitnut I have read your story which is heartbreaking what you endured. Shapiro medical did an amazing job repairing you and giving you your sanity back. I hope life is better for you now.

 

[Bigmac]

Hi Bullitnut.

Thanks for sharing your experience with hair loss and how it affected you. It certainly can cause depression and mental health issues. Unfortunately, many family doctors don't link these together. It must have been really hard for you when you thought a hair transplant was the answer and then ended up in a worse position. I'm so pleased your attempts at taking your life failed. No one should ever be in this position because they got a hair transplant.
I remember the first time we met in that field. You were crapping yourself, scared to removed your hat and show what had happened to you. What helped is that you knew I too had been screwed by the same doctor who wrecked your head. We had something in common which helped you ease up a bit. Talking to one another really helped. After your repair surgeries with SMG you're in a much better place now.

Sharing your thoughts like this is a warning to others. I hope anyone in a similar situation reaches out for help and advice.

My own hair loss affected me to the extent I was desperate try anything to get my hair back. People at work and friends commenting about my hair loss made me insecure and depressed about it. This is what lead me to having my first transplants with the butcher Norton, just like you, desperate to improve ourselves and ending up worse off.

Again, thanks for opening up about how hair loss affected you.

All the best.
Bm.

 

[Baldingman23]

Before my HT I was so self conscious about my balding, spent ages in the bathroom trying to style my hair and cover up parts. I even hated going to my barber who had cut my hair since I was 15 and he knew never to show me the back. Since my HT it takes me about 10 seconds to style my hair and I feel a hell of a lot more confident out and about, I don’t worry about the wind. My mental health as a whole is better now!!

 

[Coopman]

I knew from an early age that i would end up bald at an early age. My fathers side were generally bald by their 30s and my mothers side, i have cousins and uncles whom were NW7 in their early to mid 20s.
I guess this helped with my mental health as i always knew as an infant that this would be my destiny, so i was well prepared.

Sure enough at 13/14 i remember washing my hair and seeing hairs floating on top of my bath water not just a few dozen, but well in excess of a hundred. The inevitable had arrived.

Careful styling made me get to 20 without the extent of my hair loss being noticeable to others provided i avoided bright lights. But at 21 it got to the stage NW3 with crown vertex thinning and things were going downhill fast. Mentally it made it tough to form relationships with girls as i always kept the extent of my hair loss secret. Usually after a month relationships would just filter away as i dreaded the hair ruffle and it controlled my life.

Researching hair loss in those days was extremely difficult, the internet was in its infancy and lad mags GQ, FHM and Loaded were the only viable research tool for hair loss. Hair transplants for strip, micrografting and scalp reduction were abundant in various media advertisements. I decided at 21 that i needed a hair transplant and arranged consultations with a few clinics. I did not feel comfortable in any of these consultations and just knew it was not for me. My head was telling me my destiny was NW7 at 25 and i simply would not have enough hair to keep my head warm with what i had left on my back and sides. One surgeon who sensed my desperation during a consultation told me do not have a HT and told me to buy some thickening spray. I was then off to New Cavendish Street, London to buy some hair in a can and bloody hell did it work wonders.

In 30 seconds i had a full head of hair and after a bit of practic9ng it was virtually undetectable. I bought 12 cans of the stuff and learnt quite quickly less is best. A little spray at the hairline and to the crown area had amazing results.

In the next 2-3 years the effects of the hair concealer were becoming difficult to hide. A can went from lasting 2 months to 3 weeks and something had to be done. Luckily i still had a NW3 hairline with thinning in crown and vertex but knew in 3 years i would be NW6-7.
So at 24 from memory i bought 6 months supply of Proscar and had incredible results. After 9 months i did not need any more concealor.

Fast forward 19 years my hair has barely changed since i was 24. I have been extremely lucky, it is not quite as thick but it is adequate and i can still pull off a reasonable trendy haircut. I keep saying to myself i will get 1000 grafts to reinforce my hairline a bit but i never seem to veto through with it as i now have a reasonable head of hair for a 43 yo.

From a mental health perspective other than difficulties in maintaining relationships in my early 20s as i did not want my hair loss exposed, The results i got from Finasteride resolved any Mental wellbeing issues i had.

Bullitnut: just read your story again and its a remarkable read for others. Im glad you are on a different path now.

 

[Philwhitehouseuk]

Hi guys
My story
At 21yr old I had receded hairline so looked in yellow pages,no internet in 2001,mad I know
Found a clinic near me so went with my first hair transplant,had 200 grafts in total
Left me with a low thick scar and thin looking hair that grew outwards
I was so depressed and lived under a cap
I stopped working due to this.
Couple yrs later I saw advert in paper
Advanced hair studio, so I thought this is it,my hairloss solved
They basically glued a wig to my head and told me to come back every 6 weeks to get it cleaned
Within 8 weeks the wig was in the bin,
I was so depressed and angry that I had paid so much money with the transplant and the wig to only look worse than I ever did
2007 I now had internet and found people In my situation,I decided to go to America to have my 2nd hair transplant
Saved up the money and in 2008 28 yrs old had the transplant
I was given a 2nd scar above my old one?,and I got 1800 grafts
I thought yes my hairloss is over
How wrong was I
Again I was left with poorly angled hair transplants and now a 2nd scar,also I got shock loss of my original hair that didn't come back so I now look 10× worse
I waited for the full 18months hoping it would sort itself out as that's what the dr told me
Still looked the same,i rang the dr in America he said ok I think u only got 90% growth, i will do other transplant for free in exchange I can use ur pics for my clinic
I said yeah defo as I just want this fix
So 2010 I was 30 yrs old went to america again,had 1400 grafts,he opened up the top scar I had with him
Again still same issues
Poorly angled and thin looking ALSO my opinion none of the 1400 grafts grew
And I had more shock loss
Now 2021 I'm 40 yrs old
This is how I look
So since 2001 to 2021 my hair has ruined my life and I'm still trying to get this fixed
It is now a huge obsession of mine looking at peoples hair and hairline
I am so jealous of guys who are bald or thinning and just shave there hair off and grow a good beard
I can't do this cos of my scars and transplants dont blend in with my own hair
I dont have girlfriend or kids due to my issue of my hair,feel like I've wasted my life,when I did have a girlfriend I always wore my cap,even to bed,yeah I know,mental
To all the guys reading this please if u want a transplant please please do ur research
Remember transplants are the last option
And if u are young,ur mind will change regards to u hair, u won't care as much about u hair like u do now believe me
My life now basically hasn't change guys
I dont have kids,I dont have a girlfriend or wife,and I still live with my mom and dad
Yep sad I know,but this is what a bad transplant can do to u,it can ruin u
Just be careful guys
My aim is just to fix my transplants and scars so I can clipper my hair short and move on with my life
I hope
All the best

 

[Saint4805]

Hi Phil, thanks for sharing your story and I'm sorry that you had some bad luck particularly early on when HTs were in their infancy. I read your story before looking at your photos and was expecting much worse TBH. Some of the photos are not so bad and I would say that there are many guys who are in a worse position than you.

I think your plan sounds good - if you could do something about the scars (maybe SMP?) then a buzz cut or at least a bit shorter on top could work for you as the angles would be less obvious. You could also use fibres if you wanted to address the thinning parts. I find fibres way less messy than concealer spray and would happily use them as part of my daily styling regime along with clay or wax. Good luck!

I used to not be able to leave the house without wearing either a hat or concealer spray/fibres but lately I have started going out for walks or to the supermarket au natural with nothing at all in my hair and it is starting to feel liberating. It was tough at first but is definitely much easier now as I try and learn not to care so much about how I look in public.

 

[bullitnut]

Hi Bullitnut.

Thanks for sharing your experience with hair loss and how it affected you. It certainly can cause depression and mental health issues. Unfortunately, many family doctors don't link these together. It must have been really hard for you when you thought a hair transplant was the answer and then ended up in a worse position. I'm so pleased your attempts at taking your life failed. No one should ever be in this position because they got a hair transplant.
I remember the first time we met in that field. You were crapping yourself, scared to removed your hat and show what had happened to you. What helped is that you knew I too had been screwed by the same doctor who wrecked your head. We had something in common which helped you ease up a bit. Talking to one another really helped. After your repair surgeries with SMG you're in a much better place now.

Sharing your thoughts like this is a warning to others. I hope anyone in a similar situation reaches out for help and advice.

My own hair loss affected me to the extent I was desperate try anything to get my hair back. People at work and friends commenting about my hair loss made me insecure and depressed about it. This is what lead me to having my first transplants with the butcher Norton, just like you, desperate to improve ourselves and ending up worse off.

Again, thanks for opening up about how hair loss affected you.

All the best.
Bm.

Thanks BM I remember that first meeting well, I have to admit I was terrified and nearly backed out......I think the fact you lived a fair way from me made me actually go through with meeting you as I would have felt guilty as hell not turning up after you travelled so far......so glad we did meet as it was the start of getting my hair fixed and meeting what I consider a good friend dude.

 

[bullitnut]

I knew from an early age that i would end up bald at an early age. My fathers side were generally bald by their 30s and my mothers side, i have cousins and uncles whom were NW7 in their early to mid 20s.
I guess this helped with my mental health as i always knew as an infant that this would be my destiny, so i was well prepared.

Sure enough at 13/14 i remember washing my hair and seeing hairs floating on top of my bath water not just a few dozen, but well in excess of a hundred. The inevitable had arrived.

Careful styling made me get to 20 without the extent of my hair loss being noticeable to others provided i avoided bright lights. But at 21 it got to the stage NW3 with crown vertex thinning and things were going downhill fast. Mentally it made it tough to form relationships with girls as i always kept the extent of my hair loss secret. Usually after a month relationships would just filter away as i dreaded the hair ruffle and it controlled my life.

Researching hair loss in those days was extremely difficult, the internet was in its infancy and lad mags GQ, FHM and Loaded were the only viable research tool for hair loss. Hair transplants for strip, micrografting and scalp reduction were abundant in various media advertisements. I decided at 21 that i needed a hair transplant and arranged consultations with a few clinics. I did not feel comfortable in any of these consultations and just knew it was not for me. My head was telling me my destiny was NW7 at 25 and i simply would not have enough hair to keep my head warm with what i had left on my back and sides. One surgeon who sensed my desperation during a consultation told me do not have a HT and told me to buy some thickening spray. I was then off to New Cavendish Street, London to buy some hair in a can and bloody hell did it work wonders.

In 30 seconds i had a full head of hair and after a bit of practic9ng it was virtually undetectable. I bought 12 cans of the stuff and learnt quite quickly less is best. A little spray at the hairline and to the crown area had amazing results.

In the next 2-3 years the effects of the hair concealer were becoming difficult to hide. A can went from lasting 2 months to 3 weeks and something had to be done. Luckily i still had a NW3 hairline with thinning in crown and vertex but knew in 3 years i would be NW6-7.
So at 24 from memory i bought 6 months supply of Proscar and had incredible results. After 9 months i did not need any more concealor.

Fast forward 19 years my hair has barely changed since i was 24. I have been extremely lucky, it is not quite as thick but it is adequate and i can still pull off a reasonable trendy haircut. I keep saying to myself i will get 1000 grafts to reinforce my hairline a bit but i never seem to veto through with it as i now have a reasonable head of hair for a 43 yo.

From a mental health perspective other than difficulties in maintaining relationships in my early 20s as i did not want my hair loss exposed, The results i got from Finasteride resolved any Mental wellbeing issues i had.

Bullitnut: just read your story again and its a remarkable read for others. Im glad you are on a different path now.

Thanks for sharing your experience Coopman Its great to read others experiences and I'm glad you've managed to maintain the same hair you've had since being 24......bet the other members of your family are confused as hell as to why when theres such a strong hairloss gene running through your family.

Best wishes BN

 

[bullitnut]

I was considering a hair transplant because my hair loss made me unhappy and depressed. I don't think I had mental health issues unless depression is in that category. I still consider myself quite young and when out with the lads I felt vulnerable and insecure. They are all sporting trendy hair cuts and I had my head shaved because I looked bald. It come to a point I didn't want to so socialise that much. Sometimes a prick would say hey your going bald which annoyed the hell out of me. I had to restrain myself from smacking them.
I was desperate to sort my hair and thought I'd just get a hair transplant. Thankfully I joined this forum and asked questions about getting a hair transplant. The help i got from everyone was overwhelming. Fast forward to now, I'm in a much better place.
I agree that it's not wise to jump into a hair transplant regardless of how you're feeling. This forum saved me, positive support from like minded and caring individuals.

@bullitnut I have read your story which is heartbreaking what you endured. Shapiro medical did an amazing job repairing you and giving you your sanity back. I hope life is better for you now.

Yeah I'd say depression is certainly in the category of mental health issues pal and I can totally relate to wanting to smack people who make comments......really gets my goat how its considered by someone to say people are overweight etc but ok to shatter a guys confidence by taking the mickey out of hairloss.

Thanks for sharing

 

[bullitnut]

Hi guys
My story
At 21yr old I had receded hairline so looked in yellow pages,no internet in 2001,mad I know
Found a clinic near me so went with my first hair transplant,had 200 grafts in total
Left me with a low thick scar and thin looking hair that grew outwards
I was so depressed and lived under a cap
I stopped working due to this.
Couple yrs later I saw advert in paper
Advanced hair studio, so I thought this is it,my hairloss solved
They basically glued a wig to my head and told me to come back every 6 weeks to get it cleaned
Within 8 weeks the wig was in the bin,
I was so depressed and angry that I had paid so much money with the transplant and the wig to only look worse than I ever did
2007 I now had internet and found people In my situation,I decided to go to America to have my 2nd hair transplant
Saved up the money and in 2008 28 yrs old had the transplant
I was given a 2nd scar above my old one?,and I got 1800 grafts
I thought yes my hairloss is over
How wrong was I
Again I was left with poorly angled hair transplants and now a 2nd scar,also I got shock loss of my original hair that didn't come back so I now look 10× worse
I waited for the full 18months hoping it would sort itself out as that's what the dr told me
Still looked the same,i rang the dr in America he said ok I think u only got 90% growth, i will do other transplant for free in exchange I can use ur pics for my clinic
I said yeah defo as I just want this fix
So 2010 I was 30 yrs old went to america again,had 1400 grafts,he opened up the top scar I had with him
Again still same issues
Poorly angled and thin looking ALSO my opinion none of the 1400 grafts grew
And I had more shock loss
Now 2021 I'm 40 yrs old
This is how I look
So since 2001 to 2021 my hair has ruined my life and I'm still trying to get this fixed
It is now a huge obsession of mine looking at peoples hair and hairline
I am so jealous of guys who are bald or thinning and just shave there hair off and grow a good beard
I can't do this cos of my scars and transplants dont blend in with my own hair
I dont have girlfriend or kids due to my issue of my hair,feel like I've wasted my life,when I did have a girlfriend I always wore my cap,even to bed,yeah I know,mental
To all the guys reading this please if u want a transplant please please do ur research
Remember transplants are the last option
And if u are young,ur mind will change regards to u hair, u won't care as much about u hair like u do now believe me
My life now basically hasn't change guys
I dont have kids,I dont have a girlfriend or wife,and I still live with my mom and dad
Yep sad I know,but this is what a bad transplant can do to u,it can ruin u
Just be careful guys
My aim is just to fix my transplants and scars so I can clipper my hair short and move on with my life
I hope
All the best

Your situation breaks my heart to read and although my hair is much better now I do know somewhat of where your coming from regarding how its affected you as I had many years under the cap too.

I also have found that hairloss definitely has an affect on what work a person can do if they are low in confidence and worried about the loss or what people will think....this is a 1000 times worse if you have had a bad transplant and look different because of it.

My own experience was bad regarding work too.

I did well at school and am what I consider fairly intelligent, but i feel I limited myself to factory work where I could wear a hat....even this was bad though because there comes a time when arriving or leaving work that your colleagues would question why you've always got a hat on outside of work.

I really do hope you get some resolution dude...god knows you deserve it for living so long unhappy.

 

[bullitnut]

Hi Phil, thanks for sharing your story and I'm sorry that you had some bad luck particularly early on when HTs were in their infancy. I read your story before looking at your photos and was expecting much worse TBH. Some of the photos are not so bad and I would say that there are many guys who are in a worse position than you.

I think your plan sounds good - if you could do something about the scars (maybe SMP?) then a buzz cut or at least a bit shorter on top could work for you as the angles would be less obvious. You could also use fibres if you wanted to address the thinning parts. I find fibres way less messy than concealer spray and would happily use them as part of my daily styling regime along with clay or wax. Good luck!

I used to not be able to leave the house without wearing either a hat or concealer spray/fibres but lately I have started going out for walks or to the supermarket au natural with nothing at all in my hair and it is starting to feel liberating. It was tough at first but is definitely much easier now as I try and learn not to care so much about how I look in public.

That learning not to care what people think is the key but its damned hard to do when your confidence is low so well done you

 

[bullitnut]

Thanks for all your replies it's good that people share their stories because it helps other......as for me I'm in a much better place now with my hairloss and I'd love to say my mental health issues were perfect but they aren't.

I've had years since my repairs feeling great and much better mentally which I owe so much to Shapiro Medical Group for.

However the combination of the lockdown due to Covid, some other health issues of my own which I'll not mention, relationship troubles (thankfully these are getting sorted) and the fact I lost my Dad to cancer about 4 or 5 months ago have really taken their toll on my mental health and I've been really struggling of late....hopefully things are heading in the right direction and reading all the stories and posts shared on this forum certainly do help me take my mind off all the shit that keeps getting thrown my way.

Thanks again for sharing your experiences guys

 

[Saint4805]

Thanks for all your replies it's good that people share their stories because it helps other......as for me I'm in a much better place now with my hairloss and I'd love to say my mental health issues were perfect but they aren't.

I've had years since my repairs feeling great and much better mentally which I owe so much to Shapiro Medical Group for.

However the combination of the lockdown due to Covid, some other health issues of my own which I'll not mention, relationship troubles (thankfully these are getting sorted) and the fact I lost my Dad to cancer about 4 or 5 months ago have really taken their toll on my mental health and I've been really struggling of late....hopefully things are heading in the right direction and reading all the stories and posts shared on this forum certainly do help me take my mind off all the shit that keeps getting thrown my way.

Thanks again for sharing your experiences guys

Sorry to hear about your Dad. I think talking about issues with others and hearing their stories can definitely help give that feeling that you're not alone and that others are having to overcome similar issues. I've learned that bottling things up will not help and just talking to people can go a long way. All the best!

 

[Bigmac]

Thanks BM I remember that first meeting well, I have to admit I was terrified and nearly backed out......I think the fact you lived a fair way from me made me actually go through with meeting you as I would have felt guilty as hell not turning up after you travelled so far......so glad we did meet as it was the start of getting my hair fixed and meeting what I consider a good friend dude.

I'm glad we met as well. We have become good friends and I'm always here if you're feeling down and need someone to talk to. I know how tough it was for you taking care of your dad and then him passing away, plus the other issues that arose.
I'm glad things are heading in the right direction again.
Remember you're not alone mate.

 

[Philwhitehouseuk]

Your situation breaks my heart to read and although my hair is much better now I do know somewhat of where your coming from regarding how its affected you as I had many years under the cap too.

I also have found that hairloss definitely has an affect on what work a person can do if they are low in confidence and worried about the loss or what people will think....this is a 1000 times worse if you have had a bad transplant and look different because of it.

My own experience was bad regarding work too.

I did well at school and am what I consider fairly intelligent, but i feel I limited myself to factory work where I could wear a hat....even this was bad though because there comes a time when arriving or leaving work that your colleagues would question why you've always got a hat on outside of work.

I really do hope you get some resolution dude...god knows you deserve it for living so long unhappy.

Hi mate
Thanks for ur post
Yeah it's been a long 20 yrs for me
I enjoy this forum as I can get things off my chest where people understand
All I want to do is help guys now
Who ever is reading this,guys and girls we are here to advise and help u in the right direction

 

[Coopman]

Bullitnut
The gene from my mums has left nobody untouched within my family. As far as i am aware i am the only person that attempted a treatment plan, strange but how their baldness developed was exactly the same as mine. Firstly recession at temples followed by overall miniaturisation and thinning to vertex and crown.

Phil
I agree with Saints comments, your hair on top does not appear that bad. A small amount of fibre and daxwax or firm styling clay will work wonders.

 

[Philwhitehouseuk]

Bullitnut
The gene from my mums has left nobody untouched within my family. As far as i am aware i am the only person that attempted a treatment plan, strange but how their baldness developed was exactly the same as mine. Firstly recession at temples followed by overall miniaturisation and thinning to vertex and crown.

Phil
I agree with Saints comments, your hair on top does not appear that bad. A small amount of fibre and daxwax or firm styling clay will work wonders.

Hi mate
I've tried the clay and fibres and yes it does work miracles but it's just the hassle of it all
I just like to get up in the morning and my hair looks ok when dry and not styled
Regards to how it looks thank u for ur kind words,it dont look bad in the pics but when u see me in person,it looks really bad and unatraul
I will try to find ways to fix it
Thanks guys

 

[Teh Daddeh]

Just wanted to share this for any men in the UK suffering from depression or loneliness or despair. I know someone who attends one of these groups regularly and he views these guys as his family.

Search for andysmanclub (I can't post the link, sadly)

"OUR WHY
Andy Roberts was loving and doting father, son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend. He was an all round top guy, one of the truly nicest people.
His love for his daughter was inspirational to see and the way he looked at her and idolised her was a blessing. Sadly and tragically without any warning Andrew, at 23 years old, was taken away from all his family and friends by suicide.
On average one man every 2 hours takes his life in the UK. It’s often said a factor is that men don’t talk. Thats why we were born to break down these stigmas. At ANDYSMANCLUB you don’t have to be suicidal or have a mental health problem, we just want to get men talking.
That change starts with you…"

“Men don’t talk, for three reasons, “They feel a burden, that it’s a weakness, or they’re embarrassed. But it takes a stronger person to say how you’re feeling. To have the confidence to say ‘I have a problem, and I’m struggling in life’. To say that’s weak, well it’s a load of tosh."

 

[Philwhitehouseuk]

Good post
Thank u for sharing