Short 4C hair issues

[azzot]

My 4C afro hair has been the same short length for around 5 years now. To be honest it's even tighter than 4C.
My morning routine is as follows:

• Make it wet in the shower
• Oil it using Jojoba oil/other hair + scalp oils
• Comb it

Other sources say comb it then oil it then apply conditioner etc, but if I even slightly flatten my hair by touching it after combing it it'll become knotted again.
My hair dries out very quickly. If I check it during the day it'll be dry and shorter than at the start, and if I tried to comb it then it would be so brittle it would break.
I have tried:

• leave-in conditioner, but my hair feels almost wet and crunchy when I try to comb it out.
• shampoo-ing thrice a week, but I felt like it was drier after
• hair/scalp oil, made no difference as my hair retained none of this

I used to have large hair but that was when I mistreated it by not taking care of it.

Where am I going wrong? What can I do here, please? Thanks in advance.