Jokes... to bring a smile..

[bullitnut]

I was going to kill myself today because my marriage as fallen apart, but thought better of it in the end.

I killed my wife instead.

 

[topccat29]

A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."
The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person, we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
ARussian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person, we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
TheU.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA,about 2 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him President of the United States, and now...the whole country is looking for work."

 

[bullitnut]

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

 

[mendosa]

Docter to Tintu:u will die within 2 hours.Do u want to see any one before u die?

Tintu:Yes,A GOOD DOCTER

 

[zionaxel]

Bullit i have been going over your jokes and there brilliant, you got anymore?

 

[bullitnut]

hey Zion, yeah i've loads more, i will add some more later for you to giggle at dude.

Hope your well.

Bullit

 

[bullitnut]

Sexist i know so i apologise in advance;;D



[align=left]As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."[/align]
[align=left]She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"[/align]
[align=left]A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". [/align]

 

[bullitnut]

[align=left]One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.[/align]
[align=left]"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."[/align]
[align=left]Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.[/align]
[align=left]"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies[/align]
[align=left]"FXXX me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"[/align]

 

[bullitnut]

[align=left]The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.[/align]
[align=left]He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."[/align]
[align=left]The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."[/align]
[align=left]He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"[/align]
[align=left]The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"[/align]
[align=left]He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"[/align]
[align=left]"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."[/align]

 

[bullitnut]

global warming

 

[bullitnut]

twighlight

 

[bullitnut]

I know ill get some stick for this one...so please forgive me::}{:

 

[bullitnut]

oh dear

 

[bullitnut]

ipad

 

[bullitnut]

dirty mind

 

[bullitnut]

great butt

 

[bullitnut]

age appropriate

 

[bullitnut]

common sense

 

[bullitnut]

courage

 

[bullitnut]

danger